Sharing a Bathroom - Day 1

So call me spoiled, in the 5 years of marriage, Joe & I have never shared a bathroom. With his early morning hours and lovely bathroom habits, we have always had 2 bathroom duplexes and apartments. But one of Joe's friends is staying with us for just 3 weeks while he is transitioning out of the Army while his family is moving to Oklahoma. So to be nice, and since they have the same early morning hours, Joe moved into my bathroom so the friend can use the one in the hallway.

And the morning of Day 1, I fell in the toilet. Joe obviously wasn't taught to put down the seat. It was dark & I didn't have my glasses on or contacts in. So I was obviously annoyed. I talked myself out of texting him at 0545 to yell at him. I decided that was a bitch move & I would just talk to him later. So when we were headed to bed yesterday, I told Joe I fell in the toilet. He started laughing so hard!! After smacking him a few times, we talked logistics. And he agreed to try to remember to put the seat down.

Well, in my house growing up, the seat was down. My mother was adamant about it. We only had one bathroom until I was about 16 years old. I didnt think of it much then, I didnt have to. My father never left the seat up, and if my brother did, he got yelled at. Joe grew up with his mother and one sister. He should know better.

Do you have any bathroom rules in your house?

I was born in 1984. I have lived through some great tragedies as a conscious adult.
I was a senior in high school during the Columbine High School massacre.
I was a freshman in college during 9/11.
I was 22 during the 2007 Virginia Tech massacre.


But this one feels different. I'm 28 now. And there are no delusions about the world. My daddy won't save me from bullets & batshit crazies. I've been through a psychology grad program. I know just how crazy people are. I know what they are capable of.

I can't watch tv without tearing up. Someone on Twitter posted the last texts someone sent her mother before she was shot in a movie theater. She told her mom to go to bed & she was excited for her visit. I just broke down. How am I supposed to bring another life into this world knowing how fucked up people are? How am I supposed to even think about starting a family?


Today has not been a good day. Please keep Aurora, Colorado in your thoughts. There are some people going through the unimaginable right now.

Trending Topics - Aurora Shooting

As we are all shaking our heads about this tragic shooting in Aurora, Colorado, I glanced at my Twitter account. The picture above are of the 4 top trending topics as of noon on July 20th.

I cannot believe Colorado is going through yet another tragedy so soon after the state rallied together to help the victims of the wildfire.

My heart goes out to everyone who is affected by this senseless act of terror.

On a personal level, I cant help but wonder what is wrong with this 24 year old man. One of the first stories I heard when I woke up was his mother saying that yes, they had the correct man in custody and that she needed to leave the state. I can tell you that a mother of an adult has very little control over someone. Unless she knew his plan, what could she do? It's hard to have someone committed against their will without a history of harm. She could be telling everyone her son had a problem, but there's very little a person can do without a crime being committed. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not trying to defend anyone, but everyone was attacking the mother online. I can only imagine how she is dealing with this. To know your son is crazy and opened fire on innocent people, even children. I just wanted to point out that this man is an adult, and once a person turns 18, the parents have very little control over that adult. I could be wrong, but everyone needs to take a beat before they start yelling at others.

But hopefully we will learn just what is wrong with this person- mental illness, drugs, medication, cults, wanted to be famous, voices in his head - whatever his stupid reason is, I hope it comes out soon, so the public can identify that this is in fact an isolated incident and they can get at least some closure on this horrific event.



Friday, July 13, 2007

5 years ago, I married my best friend. It's been an amazing journey. I cant wait to see where we are in 5 more years. I love you Joe!



On the Verge

I find myself wondering what it's like to have kids. I was brushing my teeth last night, thinking about helping a child brush theirs and if I ever have a moment's peace to brush my teeth in silence when we have a child. LOL.
There was a pregnancy test commercial on TV during Pawn Stars last night. Joe had a noise. I know starting a family makes him nervous. The woman on the commercial made a loud happy noise. And Joe said, you're going to have to be easy on me when we do get pregnant. Well, this is something we will plan. I dont do surprises! So he'll know we're trying. But I asked him, when and how do you want to know? Do you want me to tell you I suspect it? Do you want me to tell you I'm taking a test? Or do you want me to tell you after I already know? He thought about it a minute. He smiled and told me to tell him on a Friday so he could have a drink & celebrate. LOL. I have no doubt that Joe will be a wreck. It's hard to think about starting a family now, with the HUGE transition heading our way. But I will one day soon move home. Get a great job. Joe will be in school. And one day, we will just know it's time to start a family. So then all these fears in my arrise.. what if I cant have kids? What if something is wrong with me? Joe laughs at me. VERY few people in my family have ever had any problems getting pregnant. Actually, only two women that I can think of. And they arent in my direct line of descendents. In fact, my grandmother discovered she only had one overy, after giving birth to FOUR children. LOL. But I worry. Being onling has made it very apparent that a lot of women have problems getting pregnant and staying pregnant. I have been on birth control for over a decade, and I dont know how that will effect me. We'll be in our early 30s before I have kids, and I dont know how that will effect me either. But I guess there's nothing I can do yet. I've never had an abnormal anything when it comes to my lady bits. So we'll just have to wait and see. Joe says that we will get pregnant the first month we try, LOL, as he rolls his eyes.

It's strange to think about being a mother. I'm just now really starting to find myself. I've accompleshed a few of my goals. I'm just now starting to "feel" like an adult. I joke with people that I got Rigel at 23, when everyone else was having kids, and there was NO WAY I was ready for a baby, I was barely ready for a yorkie! But now, I think we are finally getting there. I think I am almost prepared to be a great mom. It's a strange word. We wont be Sara & Joe. We will be mom & dad. Strange.

It's really strange to be an adult, on the verge of starting a family. We'll tell our kids about living in Colorado and how "dad" was in the Army once ... before you were born. How we traveled the world. And went to school. And how we met. And how we decided to have ... you. My parents' stories were always just stories, things that magically happened before I existed. But being a person before a parent, it's strange to think about my parents' stories not being stories, but actually their lives. All the moments that had to happen in just the right way for me to be... me.

Strange.

Head Games

My mind is playing tricks on me. I will be moving home soon, back to AR. Yes, home. Colorado has never felt like "home." I feel like I am in perpetual transition here. Junction City even felt more like home than Colorado Springs. But anyway, I'm still going to miss Colorado. This is by far the farthest West I have ever lived, as an adult. And it's so beautiful! I will miss my mountains so much. And my friends. And the stuff that is only found out West. But in the midst of going through the list of "sad to miss" stuff in my head, suddenly, a few "but remember how greats" jumped in there!

Remember how great it is to be near family!
Remember how great it is to live in a college town, not near an Army post.
Remember how great it is NOT to be an Army wife.
Remember how great it is to now all of the "hole in the wall" restaurants and hot spots.
Remember how great it is to be a local, not an outsider.
Remember how great it is to put down roots.

LOL, my silly head wont even let me have a few minutes of pity party for myself before I start looking on the bright side. Damn brain. For everything I will miss about Colorado, there are so many more things I am looking forward to back in Arkansas.