Here's to an okay Thanksgiving

I wasn't sure I had a Thanksgiving post in me. But I woke up this morning after spending the evening with my family and realized I do.

I am thankful for my family who love and support me no matter what. I have the best family I can imagine. And if I've learned anything in the last 107 days, its that some people do not have the family they deserve.

I am thankful for Rigel, my sanity. He's the best little pup there is.

I am thankful for my friends who had been there for me lately. Many have stepped up to make sure I'm okay. I will never forget that.

I am thankful for my job, co-workers, manager, and director. I work with such amazing, thoughtful, wonderful folks. I love my job and could not ask for a better group of people to work with every day.

I am thankful for my house. After renting for over a decade of my life, we had the ability to buy my dream house. I feel safe and comfortable there. It will be a great home for years to come.

Traitor Puppy

So Rigel is still in bed with Joe this morning. Joe rolled into town from MO at about 11pm last night. It was interesting to see what Rigel would do. We call him the Alert Puppy because he's hyper sensitive to any noise, as I suspect most yorkies are. Rigel and I had gone to bed at 9pm to get some sleep before Joe woke me up in the middle of the night. Rigel was up barking before Joe was even in the house. This is pretty good to know. We've never had any intruder situation, but it's good to know he would wake me up in time to shoot them (ha!).

It's awesome to see how much Rigel missed and loves Joe. He slept next to him last night. And wanted to lay right on him. But with the exception of his potty break this morning, Rigel has been on that bed with Joe. Also, Rigel is the laziest boy ever and loves to lay in bed.

Almost ready

Joe made a comment that really made me laugh today.

Rigel and I were "fighting" with his toys. He ran over to get a drink of water then jumped on the back of the couch. Once in a while he will burp and spit up a little if he doesnt let the water settle in his tiny belly. As the tiny amount of clear dog spit slowly rolled down the back of our leather couch, I stopped it with my hand and told Joe to grab a towel. Joe's first reaction was to jump out of the way or stop it with a fairly nice blanket on the couch. While Joe was watching me wash my hands, he said that maybe I'm ready to be a mom since my first reaction wasn't to jump out of the way of the nastiness. I just had to laugh. Babies are FAR grosser than a little dog spit! :)

Where everyone knows your name

Rigel in my parents' house in AR. That is his very own wine box stair so he can look out the window.

I am so excited to say that we're going home to visit soon! Joe, Rigel, and I haven't been to Arkansas since November 2009. I have a cousin that's over a year old who I've never met. I never even saw my aunt's pregnant belly. I have to finish up this term and the moment Joe goes on block leave, we're hoping in the car and heading to Arkansas. I'm taking a week off of work. It's going to be a real vacation. With a little house hunting and a dentist appointment (I LOVE my dentist, I wont go to anyone else). Throw in 12 hours in a car with Rigel and Joe and this should be a blast!! :) But Rigel is very excited to see his Grandma Jo!!

Credit Cards

Well folks, I finally gave in. Joe got a credit card this week. We're 27 years old. And we need to build our credit up. And Joe thinks this was the best idea ever. Since I was able to walk, my mother has told me how awful credit cards can be. People get in over their heads. Interest is outrageous. Why on Earth would a person need a line of credit? If you want something, save up for it and then buy it. And for my 27 years on this Earth, this is what I have done. And it's worked out pretty well for me. Until we wanted to by a new car. I had a job. Joe was a SGT in the U.S. Army. And we couldn't get a loan on a 2006 Honda Accord for less that 18% interest. My parents offered to co-sign with us and all was okay. Except that my *always independent* husband felt bad having to depend on someone else to co-sign.

So now looking at our future, getting ready to ETS and move home and buy a house, he's obsessed with our credit scores. And he applied for a credit card.

I told him it was his job to keep up with it. We would NEVER not pay the monthly amount so there's no interest to pay ever. And we would only use it for gas and groceries.

So we went to the grocery store the other day and when Joe got ready to pay.... he pulled out the debit card. Debt isn't something either of us want. We just paid off the car! And I have no idea why Joe thinks this is the best way to build credit. We decided the credit card would be only for gas. So I used it this morning. I was the first to do so. And Joe said he would go online and pay it off as soon as it hit the account.

I was talking to a co-worker today and she told me that they had a credit card for emergencies. Another told me that she and her husband put everything on it and then just pay on the bill at the end of the month. Another friend told me she only puts school related items on it, like tuition and books. I must say, given the recent government shutdown scare, it's nice to think we have a small back up plan now. Nothing beats our savings, but we really don't want to have to tap into that if all hell breaks loose.

Do you have a method to your credit card? What have you found works best for you and your family?

timing is everything

Joe asked me a question the other day.

Where do you think you would be if we hadn't gotten married?

We talked about it for a while. But it got me thinking about all of the events in a person's life that lead them to a certain moment. I laid in bed that night and thought about all of the things that had to happen perfectly for me and Joe to get together, the many times Joe and I did date, and then the last time, where Joe and I just knew we belonged together. Do I believe in fate and destiny? I don't know. I don't not believe in them. But I think that life can give you opportunities, but it's our job to capture that moment. I'm not a very religious person, many of you know that already. But it feels like there have been some times in my life where I have been pushed, or at least very slightly directed, to a certain result.

Big picture:
My family had to move to Paris, Arkansas, as did Joe.
I had to be born at a very specific time.
My parents had to get together.
Their parents had to get together.
My grandfather had to join the army and be in Germany to meet my grandmother.

It snowballs from there.

But on a more personal level, I had to be the person I was to wait for Joe. To know he needed time and space to become the person he is now. One relationship had to end, for ours to begin. I was in a philosophy class with a guy that reminded me so much of Joe. He made me miss Joe. I had to get a MySpace account (yeah, I found Joe that last time on MySpace) which I wouldn't have done unless my brother had joined a band and they had started blogging about their tour on MySpace. I remember driving home one afternoon determined to find Joe online, or at least call his mother. I just had to find him. There was this very loud determined voice in my head screaming at me. And come to find out, he had found me on MySpace only days after I had made my account. We were searching for each other. Coincidence? Fate? Destiny? Love? I don't know what to call it. I just know that the web that captures just our relationship was so tight. If anything had happened differently, I wouldn't be married to him today. It's an interesting thought. Are we soul mates? Looking back, I've never been the girl to regret anything. I don't jump with both feet first very often; I'm very cautious about the decisions I have made in my life. But I know Joe and I were supposed to be together. I think about how many times the universe pushed us together. How many opportunities we were given to get it right. How many people come and go in a lifetime, but Joe was always a constant in my life.

There is a quote in the movie The Notebook when the main character is proposed to: "She agreed with all her heart but couldn't understand why, at the moment she said yes, Noah's face came to mind." This quote has always given me chills. I have a sneaky suspicion I would have had a similar thought if I had fallen in love with a different man. Even while I was dating someone else, and I had completely lost touch with Joe, I would think about him all the time.

On January 20th, 2007, Joe was walking towards my apartment building. Rigel was just a puppy. I was leaning over my couch staring out the window, watching him walk down the sidewalk and up the stairs. I turned to Rigel and told him that I wanted to marry Joe so badly. Not 10 minutes later we were engaged. He proposed to me on my birthday. With the perfect ring. In the perfect words. And in that moment, I wasn't thinking about anyone other than him and our future.

In a very odd set of conversations as a teen, my mother and I decided that this life (if we just happened to had many lives as humans) was to inspect, perfect, become very well versed- in patience and tolerance. As I was looking back at the moments that brought me to the place and person I am today, this long forgotten thought popped back into my head. And it made me laugh. Army wife. ARMY. wife. Going through a deployment. My current existence is the epitome of patience and tolerance. How did my mother know, all those years ago, I would be a constant student of patience and tolerance as an adult? Is it possible that you are given tasks in life that prepare you for the future? The other guys I have dated. The path I took in college. The way I was raised. It's all led me to where I am today. And I wouldnt have it any other way!

Somewhere out there

Today is our 3rd wedding anniversary. I'm going to stay positive today, and not dwell on the fact that Joe isnt here. We've had two great anniversaries together, not bad for a military marriage. And I know he's somewhere thinking of me.

I've been thinking about this song a lot lately. I havent seen An American Tale in years, decades even.

Somewhere out there beneath the pale moonlight
Someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight

Somewhere out there someone's saying a prayer
That we'll find one another in that big somewhere out there

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

And even though I know how very far apart we are
It helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star

And when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby
It helps to think we're sleeping underneath the same big sky

Somewhere out there if love can see us through
Then we'll be together somewhere out there
Out where dreams come true

4th of Julys, revisited

Missing Joe a lot this weekend. The 4th of July is his favorite holiday. We made some awesome memories in the last two years in Kansas. We could shoot of fireworks in the backyard! It was so much fun. So I'm going to think about those great memories this weekend.

July 4th 2008

July 4th 2009

*no dogs were harmed in the 4th of July celebrations

Too many Vampires?

I had the strangest dream last night. I cant get it out of my head.

I was a vampire, the old school kind; mean, only out for blood, only at night.

I was licking bright red blood off of someone's warm neck. I can still see the color. It was so vivid.

Someone else walked up and asked me if I was going to turn "that one" or just kill it. I looked down.

It was Joe.

Nuts, right? So I wake up at 3am and turn to Rigel, who is standing in my face, and tell him I would most definitely turn Joe into a vampire. And as a wannabe psychologist, how am I supposed to interpret this particular dream??? :)

My furry alarm

It's absurd to think that a 6lb yorkie can make you feel safer when you're alone, but time and time again, that seems to be the case.

I got Rigel when I was in college. My mother told me that I needed another heartbeat in the house. I got Rigel a month before I was even engaged, but lets not forget that Joe was in Germany until we were married for 6 months. I lived alone. And Rigel was just a little pup.

But now he's a grown dog of 3. And he knows what sounds normal and what doesn't. When Joe is home, Rigel goes to sleep with me. He snuggles under the covers and starts snoring. All is right with the world. But if Joe's not here when I go to bed, Rigel acts completely different. He sits at the edge of the bed and doesn't fall asleep fast. He's my alert pup!

Last night I went to bed fairly early, but Joe was out with a buddy of his. About 1:30am, my furry alarm goes off. I grab him and listen. I cant hear anything, not even the normal sound of a key in the lock. Many suppressed breathes later, I heard Joe's key unlocking the door. And Rigel sounds off again. Relentlessly. This is not normal, and Rigel understands that. Joe announces his normal greeting to Rigel, but there is another voice, a very different male voice. Rigel is off the bed. Barking and hopping. Joe and I both get Rigel to calm down. All of his people are home. All is right with the world. Rigel can go to sleep, under the covers, curled up by my side.

As most of my friends know, Joe is leaving soon. And it worries me on many levels. I've always been fairly paranoid. But now I have a trained alarm, always set to loud. He's not going to attack any intruders, but he's going to make sure I know about it. And I have my own fun surprise for these intruders. But on some level, I feel safer knowing that I can go to sleep at night and know I have a little furry alarm by my side.